Diapers Elementary School

Elder Care And The New Three Generation Household

Guess who's coming to dinner? Family meetings now include you and your children but with Mom or Dad sitting in too. The number of households where Mom or Dad has moved in with their adult children is climbing. Elder care issues are part of your daily considerations. You are constantly in the middle. Welcome to the sandwich generation.

A show of hands at one of my fraternal organization meetings showed three of ten members had a parent living under their roof. The meeting went into extra innings as people shared their experiences. Adding a senior citizen to the household when you are bringing up kids of your own creates a new dynamic.

Our group supports the local senior center. We organized an evening of entertainment with light supper and a silent auction. With the support of local businesses we had quite a collection of items ready for bids.

One major box store made a donation of hdtv plasma tvs to use for a cash raffle prize. They gave a kitchenaid food processor to the cooking staff and threw in a delonghi space heater for the basement storage room. We openly discussed shared concerns about having a grandparent in the house full time.

One couple shared the dynamic of having a child and a parent that used diapers. There was lots of talk about the 'reality check'. Critical grandmothers are not always appreciated by today's teen. Conflicts can arise from comments about clothes, makeup, and music. One parent talked about the 'trigger' words list in their home.

For parents of active kids it can be a real magic trick to get everyone to and from their activities. Now the live-in parents will have to have their needs fulfilled too. This can mean regular scheduled medical appointments for long-term therapy. It may also mean shopping at different stores to obtain specialty foods and products.

We raised funds to begin a respite program. We created an adult day care where our parents can socialize and bond. This provides a few precious hours to spend with the kids, attend an after school activity or just be a couple. There is much more to be accomplished but our community is headed in the right direction.

The sandwich family scenario can work with understanding, compassion, and teamwork. Community solutions can enhance the quality of life for those in elder care and their families. In many cities multiple community service and fraternal organizations have formed joint task forces to make long term commitments to elder care initiatives. This tactic results in retaining support and expanding programs in the future.